Temptation

I didn't expect to feel like this...I never had this problem last time. I've never been one to POAS (pee-on-a-stick) earlier on in the two week wait. The first time around, I would always do a HPT before the blood test...as a way of preparing myself for a negative result. But I would always wait until around 14DPO (days past 'ovulation') at least before I would even consider it. And while of course I struggled waiting until that time, I was never tempted to POAS any earlier.

This time around, I can feel so much temptation to POAS! I ordered some HPT's online a while ago and got them in the mail the other day. I have been thinking that I will do one at some stage before the blood test like I used to do the first time around. I really do find it easier to deal with a negative result privately and on my own terms, rather than at a random time of the day with a nurse over the phone. For this cycle, the plan was to do a test on Wednesday which would be the equivilant of 14DPO, with the blood test being on Friday.

But I'm only 11DPO today and I can already feel those HPT's calling! I think I'm just getting frustrated with the not knowing. I had forgotten how many small adjustments I feel like I need to make to my life after a transfer. And some of these adjustments are a bit harder with a toddler - being careful not to overwork myself, not letting Jake jump on my belly, trying to minimise the amount I have to pick him up (which most times, can't be helped), not having those few glasses of wines at the end of the week. Not to mention the 8 hourly tablets and 12 hourly pessaries...the novelty is definately wearing off!

Plus I'm really not feeling that confident about this cycle - being my first one and a FET cycle, it doesn't give me great odds in my mind. Oh well, not too much longer before I can pull out the HPT's!