Another one bites the dust

Yep, that's right...I caved. I ended up doing a HPT at 12DPO and again at 13DPO...both negative. I'm remaining on the tablets and pessaries until the blood test on Friday, but this obviously means a negative result for us this time. With 20mIU tests, something would have shown up by then otherwise. I also started getting cramps this morning at 14DPO so I would not be surprised to see my period turn up very soon.

I'm feeling ok about it considering. I really didn't have a big expectation for this cycle anyway, being our first one and being a FET cycle. Still disappointed though obviously - it would have been nice to be one of those couples who only need to do one IVF cycle for a baby.

The really disappointing thing for me is that it looks like we have to delay IVF for a short while... there are a few financial issues we need to get sorted as well as some business goals that could affect our ability to continue with IVF right now. It's very unfortunate timing for me, if I had of known earlier, I would have done a stim cycle rather than a FET for our last cycle. Can't be helped now though, I'm hoping that the break will only be for a couple of months - now that we have paid our safety net and hospital excess, it would be a bit silly to not take advantage of that by getting in another cycle this year.

After some consideration, I have pretty much decided to do a full stim cycle next time, rather than try another FET with our last frostie. It's not great odds to try and thaw a single embryo, and even then, much less chance of a sucessful pregnancy. Considering that I need to do HRT FET cycles, it really isn't that much more to do a full stim cycle. At this stage, I would rather twice daily injections instead of 8 hourly tablets - they would have less effect on my life...I could re-gain control of my bedtime and wake up time! The main big difference for me would be EPU (egg pick up) which is normally done under general anaesthetic - but I believe my specialist offers the option of a local anaesthetic instead which I am very interested in finding out more about. (I hate GA, and the 24 hour recovery time).

I am still going to keep my appointment on Monday to talk to the specialist about the next cycle. That way, when we are ready to go again, we can get straight back into it. I'm pretty sure that he will recommend a stim cycle as well. The odds are more like 50-60% (well he reckons he is getting 80% at the moment but I think that's a bit crazy!), instead of 15-20% with a FET cycle. So a big difference and one I think is worth doing it for.

So now we wait...some more. I thought this whole process would be easier than it has been...maybe it would be if nearly all the mothers I know didn't already have second/third children or were pregnant again. While I am still incredibly grateful to have my son in my life, that urge for another baby, a sibling for my son, is just getting stronger.