Plan in motion

The plan is now well and truly in motion - how to tell my parents that we are expecting. They are going to be visiting from interstate this Thursday so we will be telling them that night. We have arranged that hubby will pick them up from the airport on Thursday night so that I can have dinner ready shortly after they arrive. This will allow a bit of a settling in period so that we are not tempted to share our news straight away.

For dessert, we have arranged a special cake to be made by our fantastic local bakery. It will be baby-themed and have the words 'Congratulations Grandma & Grandad' written on it. I'm hoping that this will be a memorable way to surprise the grandparents-to-be. Sure to make for some wonderful after dinner chatter!

We have also decided that we will tell my grandparents this weekend - it is my Grandmother's birthday on Saturday (the same day as mine) so we will be visiting, and it won't feel right to have to keep it from them. The plan is to give my Grandma a very special birthday present - a baby frame with a note saying 'Watch this space - photo to come in May' or something similar. Will have to organise this over the next couple of days.

I'm getting so excited at the prospect of being able to tell my family about our pregnancy. I can't wait until after the 12 week mark when we can share our news with the world. In a way, it is nice that hubby and I have such a wonderful secret together. But I'm at a point now where I want to scream out to everyone I meet and it is hard to speak to friends and family and not be able to share such exciting news with them.

7 weeks today

7 weeks today and it is starting to set in a bit more. I was in the car driving to work yesterday morning, thinking about the way I am going to surprise my parents with the news when they visit in a week's time. Daydreaming about sharing such wonderful news, re-living the experience of seeing our little one on the screen for the first time, seeing it's little heart beating, I ended up with tears rolling down my face. Talk about emotional! It was like the initial shock of the scan had worn off and allowed those tears that had been welling up since then to fall.

This morning I have taken my very first belly pic! I thought that this could serve as a starting point. I still feel bloated from all the IVF meds - it seems to get worse over the day with eating and drinking. So I cheated and took this one first thing in the morning :)

I've started to feel a little queasy first thing in the morning. It usually only lasts a couple of hours and it's not like full on nausea, just an 'off' feeling. I'm starting to have to get up in the middle of the night every night to go to the bathroom as well. I seem to be really thirsty all the time, I'm drinking 3L + a day and I still feel thirsty. I'm trying to not drink so much at night to stop myself having to get up in the middle of the night but I usually still end up needing to drink at least a glass before bed. Other than that, I still feel tired pretty much all day. It's very hard to resist the midday naps.

Scan results

The scan results are in...

One beautiful healthy bub!!!!!

I am amazed, I have spent the last two weeks preparing for the news of twins. Although I was prepared for the outcome of twins and would have been happy with that result, I was still struggling with how I would cope with a twin pregnancy as well as everything that comes along with twins. All along I had been hoping for a singleton. For so many obvious reasons including that it's so much less risk both for me and the baby. So I am just over the moon with this result.

Bub is measuring 6w5d and has a perfect heatbeat as well as a nice looking yolk sack. My FS has brought my EDD back to the 8th of May (when I originally thought it would be) - turns out that the clinic's method of working out EDD is not really an accurate one. So bub is measuring spot on for dates.

I just can't describe how I'm feeling now and how amazing it was to see our little one on the screen. Even though at this stage bub just looks like a little blob, we could see it's little heart beating strongly. After so many scans of seeing an empty uterus, the feeling when I first saw that little blob is indescribable. There are no words that explain just how over the moon I am right now, the joy brings tears to my eyes.

An Update

Wow, it has been way too long since I have updated my blog. I've been trying to distance myself somewhat while passing the time away until my scan. I think not wanting to obsess about little things has kept me away a bit. Back into it now though :)

I have now bought my first pregnancy book:


A fantastic book that just has everything! Reading it is really helping to make it more real for me. It's still incredible to think that I will actually be experiencing all these things though. I guess it's going to be hard to truly believe until after I have more physical evidence in the form of a bulging belly.

One more day to get through until the scan. I'm feeling ok about it at this stage, but if I let myself focus on it too much I feel so much more than ok - excited, nervous, scared, anxious among other things. I'm so glad that I have been able to get a later appointment so that hubby will be able to come with me. Hopefully he will be able to keep it together better than I am predicting that I will.

I've been feeling so tired the last couple of days - even on the weekend I have been napping during the day and my whole body just feels really drained, like I have no energy. Going by the clinic's EDD, I am 6w2d today - maybe this is my first symptom? I've been wondering how I am going to get through the next month or so at work if I continue to be this tired - I'm guessing there will have to be a few long lunches to include some naps.

Updated hcg level

I had my second blood test yesterday just to make sure that the levels were going up as they should. This is what the result was:

HCG @ 21DPO = 3983

So more than doubled which the clinic was really happy with. I think with these levels there is a pretty good chance that I may have more than one in there! Obviously we were prepared for this by transferring two embryos, but it's still a scary concept at this stage. We won't find out until the first scan, but with levels as high as we have had it seems like there is a high possibility.

I got my 'pregnancy pack' in the mail from the clinic yesterday afternoon as well - they have put my EDD at 10th May 2008. I can't seem to work out how they got to that date, but hopefully I will find out more at my first scan. I realise that the due date really doesn't matter cause at the end of the day, it will happen when it happens. But it would be nice to know how far along I am - I am already starting to read up on various pregnancy calanders to see what is happening inside my body at the moment. I think IVF has made the whole baby making process a lot more fasinating to me and I love reading about what is happening and how things develop.

Recapping the day that was

I thought now that the initial shock has worn off, I should go into a little more detail about our memorable day yesterday.

So, after we had the hcg level confirmed yesterday morning, I ended up taking the rest of the day off work to celebrate. Hubby and I met up and went out for a lovely lunch together where we were both able to talk about the amazing feelings we were having about the next step of our journey. It was just a nice way to spend some time as a couple to allow the news to settle in.

I had also arranged a small surprise for hubby which I gave to him at lunchtime - a book called 'So you are Going to be a Dad'. I put in inside a beautiful baby-themed gift box and wrote a note inside the book to remember the occaision. I may not have been able to have a nice surprise for him to tell him that I was pregnant, but at least I was able to give him something memorable to mark the special day.

I booked in my first scan with my fertility specialist today too. It is booked in for the 18th of September, so not too long to wait. I was so glad that I was able to get an afternoon appointment so that hubby could come along, I can't imagine him not being there for that.

The other very exciting thing I did today was book in with my new OB! I already knew which hospital I wanted to go to - I've known that for years. I'd spent the last few days researching the list of OB's at this particular hospital and chose one that I think that both hubby and I will relate to the best. A lot of people seem to have recommended him and his medical style seems perfect for us. My first appointment with him is on the 10th of October - I only had the one option for an appointment so it was lucky that I phoned this early to book in! I can't believe how quickly they book out!

All of this stuff today really helped make it all that more real. I am starting to accept it, but it still just all feels so surreal. But for now, I'm just going to enjoy the ride.

OMG!!!

I'M PREGNANT!!!!

The clinic finally managed to find my blood test results. Apparently they had spelt my name wrong so when they were searching for them under the correct spelling they weren't there. Results were:

HCG @ 19DPO = 1769!!!!!

What a huge level! Higher than the betabase average at 19DPO for multiples!!

I'm having another blood test tomorrow just to make sure that the levels are doubling as they should, but they are not too concerned with my level being so high.

I am just in shock, such a surreal feeling! I know that I had the postive pregnancy tests, but it really feels like I am finding out for the first time that I am pregnant. Finally I can say those words and actually believe them!! I can finally start to really enjoy this wonderful ride that I am on!!

Stupid Pathology

I can't believe they managed to stuff up my blood test! All day I waited yesterday, checking my phone every 5 minutes waiting for the clinic's call. Finally I phoned them at around 3:20pm and they still hadn't received my results. They followed it up, and it turns out that the main head office pathology place hadn't even received it yet! I had it done at 7:30am - I even got up at 5:30am to make sure that I was at the pathology place before it opened at 7am!

So now I don't even know if they still have my sample. One of the nurses was going to try to chase it up, but they all finish work at 4:30pm so she is calling me at some stage this morning. If she has not phoned me by 9am I will be on the phone chasing her up!

I feel like I am in limbo right now. I know that it's pretty hard to deny the strong positives I have been getting. I did another one on Monday morning and this is what I got:

But I just can't bring myself to accept it until I hear the hcg levels from the clinic. I know plenty of people do, and hubby doesn't seem to have had a problem with it. But for some reason, I need that blood test result.

A Confession

Ok, I have a confession to make. I wasn't sure that I wanted to reveal this just yet, I'm nervous even just typing this. But I decided that since this is a blog that is meant to be a record of my IVF journey, I need to do this. After all, this is a major part of my journey.

On Thursday morning, at 14DPO, I caved and did a HPT - this is what I got:

I was totally shocked, I mean *hand automatically covering mouth while gasping* shocked. I expected that by now the last of the hCG from the Pregnyl would be out of my body - it had been 9 days and I'd read that you only really needed to wait 7 days. So I had fully expected to see yet another single line. I hadn't even told hubby that I was doing the test. Trying to prepare myself for a negative, I thought it would be easier if I was by myself to deal with it, before having to tell him. Of course once I got this result, I didn't want to tell him over the phone since he had already left for work hours earlier, but he is also the type to get his hopes up and go completely overboard, so I was worried about getting him excited if this wasn't the real deal. I guess I still figured there was a chance that there could still be some of that hCG left in my system after all. But I ended up telling him that night, at the same time cautioning him against getting too excited too soon, explaining the possiblity of the Pregnyl injections & false positives.

I decided I would do my next test on Saturday morning - that would give it 2 days - plenty of time for either the leftover hCG to fade, or the building hCG to increase. I tried my best to forget about the other test in the meantime (even though it was hard not to keep looking at the bloody thing!) and put it down to leftover hCG. But I figured that at least I would have something to compare it to on Saturday morning.

After a very restless night, and giving up trying to sleep just after 5am, this is what I got:

Holy crap! The line was so much darker! This time, hubby knew that I was doing the test and had woken up as soon as I got out of bed. I showed him the test straight away, comparing it to the last one with a shocked look on my face. I just couldn't believe it! Even he was having trouble believing that these tests could be telling us that it had finally happened. So I did the obvious - I did another HPT, this time one that was less sensitive:

Wow. Even now I am speechless and still can't believe that this could all be happening. I never thought that I would ever see those magic two lines! I keep looking at them over and over again, still in disbelief.

The second test was all hubby needed to be convinced, but I really don't think that I will be until the blood test on Tuesday. I'm just so scared to let myself believe that we are moving on in our journey. After we have been through so much to get here, I really can't allow myself to believe that this could be real. I will be holding my breath until I get that phone call on Tuesday...